ONE THING

...Mum AND Dad.

2011-10-20T23:22:00.003+01:00

Wherever they are, I hope they're together and happy again.

...suspicious minds.

2011-10-07T23:51:00.009+01:00

I found this photo on the munificent Twitter (via @Reddit, submitted by Biddooo - it depicts Biddooo's niece, presumably the one on the left. The explanation was "They do NOT trust each other").

It is now officially my favouritest thing on the internet ever. The more I look at it, the better it gets.

It just keeps giving and giving. Click to big and see for yourself.

Thanks, Twitter. Thwitter.

...the hospital.

2011-09-20T23:51:00.003+01:00

There are better, and worse, places to hang out.

...my niecey.

2011-09-18T21:04:00.004+01:00

Actually, so was yesterday.

Yesterday, she cheered me up by buying me a surprise present (see above, and in fact click on the link to be swept, Narnia-style, into David & Goliath's wondrous universe).

"I just HAD to buy it - it's so YOU, Aunty," she said, and she wasn't wrong.

She also cheered me up by taking part in a heptathlon this weekend, because she'd never done one before and thought she'd give it a go.

Today, she is Kent heptathlon champion 2011.

My niecey rocks (AND rules).

(PS: This is a different niece to the one who is a rising ballet star. I have a whole heap of ultra-talented nieces. They are no doubt inspired by their fabulous aunty.)

...Tesco's Guy.

2011-09-15T23:56:00.000+01:00

We met in the pub for a catch-up.

He's still as funny, still as quirky, still as disarmingly honest as he always was.

He tried to kiss me at the end of the night, but that was probably just the booze.

...the M4.

2011-09-14T23:51:00.004+01:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

One - you get me home to Cardiff, for a few precious days.

...changes.

2011-09-12T22:14:00.001+01:00

Ever since I plucked up the courage to tell Dad he was abnormally wired, magic has been happening.

We are getting along fine now - first time ever. The difference is, simply, I can now tolerate his quirks.

I am glad I found this sense of resolution before it was too late. He is becoming increasingly frail these days.

Yesterday, he asked me to move his bed downstairs into the lounge. I had to move out half a hundredweight of ornaments, extraneous furniture and other such junk to make room for it. It was great. Dad now has a trendy bedsit arrangement going on.

He hasn't mentioned if he considers this to be the beginning of the end.

...casually mentioning to my dad I thought he might have Aspergers Syndrome.

2011-09-07T22:00:00.004+01:00

He took it well.

Not.

Thank goodness for beautiful things. This lovely image of Kikazaru, the no-hearing monkey, was found at the splendid netsukeonline.org which has more monkeys than you can shake a stick at, which has got to be good.

...boredom.

2011-08-28T23:41:00.003+01:00

Coincidentally, at the moment I am reading this book.

(That's another homemade postcard, by the way.)

...pyjamas.

2011-08-27T22:23:00.002+01:00

Stayed in them all day.

Disgraceful.

...A&E

2011-08-26T22:30:00.003+01:00

My dad's face swelled up this morning, for no apparent reason.

Then it kept swelling.

We should've been at the ballet.

We went to the hospital instead.

...nice tits.

2011-08-25T23:57:00.004+01:00

Blue tits. Great tits. Coal tits. Even a pair of Long Tailed tits.

They all flock to my dad's garden.

I put food out every day.

I love the birds, me.

...stress.

2011-08-24T22:38:00.001+01:00

Yesterday was a good day; today was a bad day.

Nuff said.

...B&Q.

2011-08-23T23:08:00.005+01:00

Pansies. Chrysanthemums. Michaelmas daisies. Primroses.

It's about time Dad's garden had more flowers and fewer weeds.

...nearly-famous nieces.

2011-08-22T21:47:00.002+01:00

Squeeeeeeeeee!

My niece!

On the BBC News website!

(In a good way. She's the lead in Chocolat.)

So chuffed.

...taking it to the garden.

2011-08-21T23:12:00.007+01:00

Once there was a shed.

Then there was a rotting wooden structure loosely supporting a cornucopia of tree, ivy, bramble, holly, honeysuckle, old birds' nests and convolvulus.

Now there is a shed again.

It took half a day to cut down the tree - the saw was blunt and rusty. If only I'd had a chainsaw (and some petrol for the bonfire), I could've dealt with all of Dad's long-neglected garden in no time.

(And his house.)

...sanity.

2011-08-20T22:19:00.005+01:00

I'm at my dad's for three weeks solid, while my sister is away on holiday.

It hasn't been too bad, so far.

I've been making myself do pleasant things - things that are easy to overlook when you're otherwise engaged chewing on life's gristle.

Going for long walks in the golden evenings and finding kittens to play with. Picking up a sketch pad and a biro for a quick doodle. Sneaking an hour in the garden with a book. Dedicating a night to watching repeats of QI on Dave (I love Johnny Vegas, I think he's beautiful).

In a mad world, pleasant things rock.

...body language.

2011-08-16T19:24:00.008+01:00

Even while my head was going 'stop it, you're over-reacting', my feet marched me into my doctor's surgery where my tongue blurted out that I'd just about had a gutsful of my dad.

I'm now on the waiting list to see a counsellor. I need to find out why I keep letting him take over my life.

...postcards.

2011-08-12T21:40:00.011+01:00

Last week I signed up for the rather wonderful postcrossing.com, and today I finally found a postcard suitable for my first recipient, two-year-old Hessel from The Netherlands.

I was inspired to join by this article. The subheading's right - it is difficult finding a card with a decent image. In the end I had to go to the gift shop of the National Museum as all the local high street offerings were horrible.

I've struggled with the thorny problem of postcard-buying for most of this year: promising to send Tesco's Guy occasional postcards from Kent, I discovered the offerings on display in Medway tourist outlets were just as horrible as the Welsh ones.

So in the end I made my own.

Hessel, though, will be receiving a postcard of this.

I hope he likes it.

...inner London violence.

2011-08-09T22:34:00.003+01:00

Martin Luther King Jr once said, "A riot is, at bottom, the language of the unheard."

He also said, "Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."

I hate those stupid fucking fuckers.

...being singluated.

2011-07-31T17:15:00.004+01:00

We were together for nine brilliant months.

It was great but there was always something missing. Every time I tried to get closer to him emotionally he would freeze up, visibly uncomfortable. We were so good together in every other way I tried to ignore it.

Then, in a bad mood about something else, I couldn't ignore it any more, and asked a question I already knew the answer to.

...sadness

2011-06-01T20:59:00.003+01:00

No matter how much I try to focus on the benefits, spending time at my dad's really gets me down.

I feel like the life is being sucked out of me.

...slugs.

2011-04-01T21:40:00.006+01:00

In the early hours of this morning, I remembered I'd forgotten to put my saucepan of soup in the fridge.

So I went downstairs to the kitchen.

Barefoot.

(You know where this is going, right?)

By the cooker, I stepped on something wet and very, very squishy.

I can't bring myself to describe what I saw when I looked down, and despite scrubbing my foot repeatedly with soap and very hot water the 'exploding slug' sensation didn't go away.

I scraped it up with an over-large handful of tissues and threw it in the bin.

Then this lunchtime, I found another one of the buggers carving an identical course across the kitchen floor.

I don't know if it was the same one but it was very unexploded.

Do slugs self-repair, like Terminators?

I removed it to the garden with a dustpan.

(If you would like to watch a video of a slug chewing off its own penis then please do visit Brooke's website. It is where I nicked the above pic from and it is fascinating, and vaguely yet disturbingly kinky.)

...soup.

2011-03-31T23:19:00.000+01:00

Home-made leek and potato.

Yum.

(No Clangers were harmed in the making of this pottage.)

...close encounters of the bird kind.

2011-03-30T23:50:00.009+01:00

With a pair of secateurs in my hand, I am mighty.

Overgrown gardens quake in my presence. Brambles scream and run away.

This afternoon, while I was brutalising a privet, a robin came and sat with me among the branches.

It studied me inscrutably from less than an arm's length away.

It serendaded me softly as I continued to prune.

Later, when I'd cleared the ivy and dead leaves and pine needles out from under the bush, it hopped down to inspect my work.

It approved. It found a juicy centipede, and held it up for me to admire.

[This beautiful image was found here at FreeMages]

...spring.

2011-03-22T23:43:00.003Z

It's no longer just around the corner.

It's bloody well here!

...pining.

2011-03-09T21:23:00.002Z

Damn you, oxytocin.

I can't wait to get back to Cardiff tomorrow and it's all your fault.

...old friends.

2011-03-02T20:46:00.004Z

I was expecting to find my Beatles singles in the red singles case I retrieved from the loft.

Instead, I found some very old friends.

May I introduce Oliver Squeak and Little Ted?

It surprised me how thrilled I was to see them again.

(I wonder if they know where my Beatles singles are?)

...cataloguing.

2011-03-01T23:52:00.003Z

I'm at my Dad's.

It's the end of the day.

I've fed him. I've done his laundry. I've showed him how to send emails (again). I've stacked the dishwasher. I've put the rubbish out. I've listened to his Daily Mail stories. I've made sure he's taken his pills and that he's happy in front of the telly.

Which means it is the perfect time to fetch my old records down from the attic, retire to my room, and enter them all on a spreadsheet.

Ooooh yeah.

...rain.

2011-02-25T23:56:00.003Z

I wasn't singing.

...melancholy.

2011-02-24T23:38:00.001Z

Don't know why - just was.

...transition.

2011-02-11T20:53:00.004Z

I am half here, half there.

Half in Kent, half in Cardiff.

Half in my new house, half in my old house.

Halfway between an old life, and a whole new me.

Half is one of those words that looks really weird when you type it a lot.

I just had to google it to see if I'd spelt it right.

...being a "carer".

2011-02-09T22:06:00.005Z

Time spent preparing meals for my dad: 2.5 hours.
Time spent shopping for my dad: 1 hour.
Time spent taking my dad to appointments: 2 hours.
Time spent chatting to my dad: 2 hours.
Time spent looking for my dad's glasses: 0.5 hours.
Time spent wishing my dad would stop reading me stuff out of The Daily Mail: 16 hours.

...feeling happy.

2011-02-06T23:58:00.003Z

S'nice.

...having WAY too much time on my hands.

2011-01-27T21:53:00.003Z

As well as crocheting a cactus, I baked a banana honey fruit loaf.

Not working is brilliant, I love it.

...chicken & stuffing.

2011-01-26T19:29:00.004Z

Two days ago, this was a lost glove in Roath Park.

Today, it is a testament to the fact I have too much time on my hands.

...Scott and Amundsen.

2011-01-24T19:15:00.005Z

I'm reading that totally bitchy book by Roland Huntford, and I can't put it down.

Don't tell me the ending!!

...worrying.

2011-01-22T23:25:00.004Z

worry (wûr'ē, wŭr'ē)
v.intr.

1. To feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled.

2. To pull or tear at something with or as if with the teeth.

3. To proceed doggedly in the face of difficulty or hardship; struggle.

...satellites.

2011-01-21T22:46:00.006Z

I am helping my anglolinguistically-challenged housemate write a paper for his PhD.

Does this mean I'm brainy?

...Roath Park.

2011-01-19T21:50:00.001Z

It was sunny; there were cormorants.

Splendid.

...blogging.

2011-01-18T22:09:00.004Z

Kinda needed the blogosphere today.

...waiting.

2011-01-17T20:45:00.003Z

Waiting for news.

Waiting to know what on earth to do.

...the journey.

2011-01-16T16:37:00.003Z

I'm home.

Kent to London; London to Cardiff. Thank you National Express and your blessed funfares.

"No man but feels more of a man in the world if he have but a bit of ground that he can call his own. However small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property."
~ Charles Dudley Warner

...birthdays.

2011-01-14T23:28:00.002Z

My dad was 79 today.

It was his first time in a Frankie & Benny's.

When they did the Happy Birthday thing with the desserts, his face lit up even brighter than the candle in his ice cream.

...excitement.

2011-01-10T12:20:00.000Z

This time next week, I'll be home!

...goats.

2011-01-08T23:26:00.003Z

Isn't it always?

...niecey new nose.

2010-12-29T16:14:00.002Z

A week ago, my second eldest niece (the Mighty Bean) had her nose 'done'.

Today, the bandages came off.

She looks so pretty!

All she needs now is a halo.

...paracetamol.

2010-12-28T20:46:00.004Z

Because hanging around with people - even good-hearted ones - gives you germs.

...good-hearted people.

2010-12-25T21:33:00.003Z

I love my loved ones.

Happy Christmas!

...that end of term feeling.

2010-12-23T19:25:00.005Z

Last day of job. Booo. If only 'Christmas casual' wasn't just for Christmas, it was for life.

(Got another hug and bristly kiss from the supervisor. I think he liked me.)

...hangover.

2010-12-21T13:49:00.003Z

That'll teach me for trying to go pint-for-pint with a real Cardiffian.

...a fond embrace.

2010-12-15T23:20:00.006Z

Today at work my sweet and rather handsome supervisor gave me a birthday card signed by everyone, a box of Heroes, a big hug, and a bristly birthday kiss on the cheek.

My birthday's not til Friday, but I didn't mind.

...smiling.

2010-12-08T22:35:00.003Z

I have a new job, I really like it.

It's nice to go to work with a smile on your face. I haven't done that for a long time.

...catching up on some sleep.

2010-12-05T19:10:00.003Z

It's a beautiful thing.

...looking forward.

2010-11-04T00:23:00.004Z

It feels like things are changing for the better.

...a microwave.

2010-10-12T21:46:00.007+01:00

Flatmate left behind his microwave for me, and tonight I went round to his old house to fetch it.

I was very happy that it squeezed into my little trundler suitcase, because that meant I didn't have to carry it for the half an hour walk back to my place.

Cardiff, though, has very rough and uneven pavements, and I am not too sure how forgiving microwaves are to violence.

I just hope the jarring it received on the way did not break any of the micros.

...beautiful, beautiful sunshine.

2010-10-11T20:02:00.006+01:00

The ladies I work with think I'm weird because I walk home every night instead of getting on a bus or driving, like they do.

They can go screw themselves.

Walking for an hour on a crisp clear autumn afternoon is damn good use of my time.

...feeling a bit lost and uncertain.

2010-10-10T22:37:00.002+01:00

Some days I don't know which way to turn.

...losing myself.

2010-10-08T21:43:00.004+01:00

Literally.

I like to walk home from work, it takes about an hour.

Because it drives me mad to do the same thing each day, I also like to vary the route each time.

Tonight I varied the route so much I got completely lost. I saw parts of Cardiff I never knew existed. I saw parts of Cardiff I hope I never see again.

It was fun.

...my sofa.

2010-10-06T20:38:00.002+01:00

Tonight, my sofa's the best place in the world.

...a much better kind of toil.

2010-10-05T20:54:00.006+01:00

Phoned in sick. Stayed home and had a splendid time doing DIY. Don't tell my landlord.

(Don't tell my work either.)

...toil.

2010-10-04T22:28:00.006+01:00

Toil is a drag when you're not enjoying it.

...cold.

2010-10-02T00:10:00.003+01:00

Bleurgh.

...making a concerted effort to laugh more.

2010-09-30T22:43:00.003+01:00

Because laughter is, after all, the best medicine.

...anticipation.

2010-09-29T22:09:00.004+01:00

As a change-junky who no longer has any particular reason to stay in Cardiff, the future suddenly looks interesting.

...the bittersweet tang of freedom.

2010-09-28T21:30:00.005+01:00

My time is my own again!!!

Well whoopdee-do.

...saying goodbye to the man I adore.

2010-09-27T23:21:00.011+01:00

Since I got back to the UK in February, we've had our ups and downs and the rose-tinted specs have been firmly ripped from my nose.

Perversely, it's just made me love him even more - even though I accept he doesn't love me "like that". We are friends now in a way we never were in 2008. We are even closer.

Today he left for France.

I don't know when I'll see him again.

...industry.

2009-11-24T08:33:00.008Z

I have been busy purging my stuff to try and make it all fit into two suitcases. This is turning into an annual event. I hit the clothes and the craft supplies today. Tomorrow - gasp - I'll see what's at the back of the wardrobe.

...taking photos.

2009-11-19T10:52:00.005Z

I borrowed a posh camera from school today and took pictures of things. Mostly my artwork, because I don't have an attic to keep it in and I am getting sick of carting it around with me everytime I move. So I will keep it instead on computer. I won't throw all of it away, of course. Some of it I am very fond of.

This, for example, is Sophie.

...organisation.

2009-11-18T08:46:00.006Z

You can get a mindmap desktop organiser to help you organise your life (click on the pic to get to the website that provides), but if you know where you can get a miracle please let me know.

...feeling quite good.

2009-11-17T10:01:00.001Z

A bit like this actually...

...doing that for which I am now (almost) trained.

2009-11-16T08:50:00.007Z

Yes.

(Photo by Ewing Galloway, apparently. Good man.)

...the weather.

2009-11-15T09:46:00.003Z

It was like being immersed in ice cream, being outside today.

...denial.

2009-11-13T09:49:00.003Z

Washed hair. Chatted to housemate. Took head-and-shoulders photos of her, at her request - she wanted a portrait for her Facebook page. Ate a leisurely breakfast. Strolled to school. Read paper, then checked Southern Squall to find out what was really going on. Chatted to Angela. Chatted to Erica. Had a coffee. Chatted to Dion. Chatted to Mike. Chatted to tutors. Chatted to Sandy. Had a coffee. Chatted to Craig. Posted parcel. Went to park, took photos. Sat on bench, thought about stuff. Admired flowerbeds. Talked to a duck. Came home. Turned on laptop. Spider solitaire. Horoscopes. Blog-trawl. Ate peanuts, chocolate, Arnott's Shapes. Worried about the 1500-word feature I need to write by Tuesday. Bedtime.

...cautious optimism.

2009-11-12T08:46:00.002Z

Today I passed shorthand, which means I can now goof about on the internet without feeling guilty.

...quiet desperation.

2009-11-10T10:29:00.003Z

And when the Weasel goes quiet, you know things are REALLY bad.

(But God how I love Natalie Dee).

...wishing I could have my life back.

2009-11-09T10:39:00.003Z

Right now I feel like I'm all of the above.

...windburn, hypothermia.

2009-11-08T07:58:00.003Z

Being a Wales supporter can be tough sometimes.

(This utterly fabulous image was found here).

...pretending to be Welsh.

2009-11-07T10:07:00.005Z

I am helping out in the media tent at the men's hockey world cup qualifier being held in Invercargill. Wales are the only team who had to pay their own way to be there. They are the lowest ranked team in the group. This afternoon, they got walloped 6-2 by New Zealand.

Because I was born in Cardiff, and have lived in Wales for 1/21th of my life, and because I too am a long way from my nearest slice of barra brith, I stood on the sidelines today and cheered for the boys with the red tops and rather fetching see-through white shorts (it was raining).

...passing a shorthand test.

2009-11-05T07:50:00.001Z

What a relief.

...feeling a bit all over the place.

2009-11-04T09:34:00.006Z

No change there then.

(This photo is by Meredith and I found it here).

...high drama.

2009-11-03T10:37:00.005Z

To court, to write a story about a murder trial. Lots of fancy talk about abrasions and lacerations and embarrassment to the cardiac system and blunt instrument trauma and there, just a few metres away, is a perfectly ordinary man who has stabbed someone to death.

Murder is served up to us as entertainment every day, but I wasn't prepared for the bizarre feeling I got from being metres away from someone who had actually done it. Allegedly. I couldn't get beyond the thought 'that man has killed someone'. How must that feel?

And then to a council meeting, where the mayor tried to sack the deputy mayor quite unexpectedly, and everyone got into a right tizz about it: accusations flew, dummies were spat, fingers were pointed. Some councillors even told filthy fibs in an attempt to make themselves look better. Allegedly. I haven't been so entertained since Jimmy Corkhill jumped off the roof. Brilliant stuff.

...being folorn.

2009-11-02T10:49:00.002Z

I am such a long way from where I want to be.

...Facebook.

2009-11-01T08:34:00.008Z

Snuck onto the dreaded Facebook for the first time in ages. I hate it, it creeps me out. Made a few friends, emailed a few people, snuck off again. Shudder.

...sad.

2009-10-31T10:46:00.004Z

I am in 'this time last year' mode. It is making me feel sad.

Cartoon borrowed from the very wonderful xkcd.

...unexpected stuff.

2009-10-29T10:30:00.005Z

Unexpected in a good way: a luminous star with a comet tail found in the road on the way to school; a story handed back by Tutor Smartypants with a one-word comment - "faultless"; a voicemail message from a big cheese at NZ's biggest media company saying he'd heard I was looking for work and I should ring him because there's a vacancy in Wellington I might be interested in (I don't know who told him that!); and a lovely lovely compliment from the lovely lovely Sage about how much she enjoyed talking to me.

Oh, and I failed another shorthand test but did miles better than the last two so felt enormously cheered by this.

A good day.

...thoroughly decent chaps.

2009-10-28T09:04:00.004Z

I love (almost) everyone I have met on my course. We are awesome. Yes.

...earworm.

2009-10-27T08:47:00.005Z

Don't Make Waves by The Nolans, mysteriously.

(If you really are a masochist, click here).

...shorthand.

2009-10-26T08:02:00.003Z

Sir Isaac Pitman has a lot to answer for. How come when you search Google Image for 'Teeline' all the people are smiling???

...rich, long-lasting colour.

2009-10-25T08:43:00.002Z

Today I dyed my hair, ears, forehead and neck.

...abject boredom.

2009-10-24T11:56:00.004+01:00

My mum used to say only boring people got bored.

...dashing about the place.

2009-10-23T10:42:00.004+01:00

Just like what real reporters do. It was fun.

...talking to people.

2009-10-22T11:09:00.003+01:00

And now, like Exhausted Maenides after the Dance, I am totally knackered.

...grind.

2009-10-21T10:54:00.004+01:00

And not the good sort. Down in the Soviet Republic of Southland, there is only a month to go on the diploma course and the pressure is increasing.

(Poster and other interesting stuff here).

...remembering.

2009-10-20T08:07:00.001+01:00

Happy birthday Mum.

...energy.

2009-10-16T11:39:00.009+01:00

Had a lot of energy today. So after I'd finished school, gossiped with Dafydd next door for a couple hours, done an hour's shorthand practice, watched America's Next Top Model, Rove, Pulp Sport, 7 Days and Nightline, I put my headphones on, cranked up the MP3 and danced around my room like a lunatic. You have to make your own fun in Invercargill.

...claypot.

2009-10-15T09:28:00.004+01:00

Had lunch with a friend today. I consider that $10 well spent.

...weighty legal and ethical issues.

2009-10-14T11:45:00.008+01:00

That is, two essays to hand in on Friday, one on media law, one on media ethics.

NB: media ethics is apparently not an oxymoron.

...gloom.

2009-10-09T11:41:00.004+01:00

Sartre was right. Hell is other people. Or maybe it's just the people I have to share a house with.

...hangover.

2009-10-08T10:07:00.005+01:00

A mate came round yesterday afternoon, the plan was to sit in the sun and drink a few beers. A few beers turned into all the beers, and then some more beer, and then vodka, cider, and the rest of the cask wine. Oh dear.